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27 October 2004 @ 12:08 am
rather jumbled, but it's the best I've got right now  
I know I haven't updated in a few days. I've been grey-minded and growly, so I thought it best that I not inflict that on you lot.

The Faire season, to my mind, is officially over. We performed (as the Crimson Pirates) at the Maryland Renaissance Faire this weekend past. Dan and Robin consider this their home faire, mostly (I think) because the Pirates Royale are there. It is beautiful. The booths are gorgeous, as are the grounds; the food is wonderful. The seafood booth (oyster shooters (shrimp for me, thank you very much!), decadent crab dip, steamed shrimp, and so much more) is a true delight. I had a blast there last year. This weekend past... not so much. It may just be that I am tired. *More on that later, though.

Don and I drove to our hotel Friday evening. I picked him up at the train station in Hawthorne, that we might have a good hour and a half less on our drive. Now, I knew it was likely to be chilly during the weekend. To that end, I crocheted a red scarf that I could wear with my costume as we drove southward. Geeky girl, to be sure, but though it was a bit lumpy (not too bad, all told, considering some of it was done in the dark), it served a purpose. The hotel was fine, save for the air quality in the room: dry and hot. Add to that a burgeoning cold, and you have a very stuffed up me waking up at four in the morning, gasping for breath. I fumbled through the dark to shut the heat off and then lay atop the covers for the next hour and a half, desperately hoping to fall back to sleep.

We met up with the crew from our hotel (Dan, Robin, Ann K. and Mark) and set off to Faire in time for morning notes. We were introduced, as were the visiting jousters (no women on the list, though apparently the wife of one of the competitors is a jouster). It was full contact (and thus full plate armor). Feh. I’m good at what I do, but if it comes down to someone really trying to unhorse me, well… they’ll likely win. Add to that that I do not have full plate, and you know I’ll not be competing any time soon.

Anyway, we had a few sets (two at White Hart – a truly beautiful pub with a rather lovely miked stage) and two at O’Shucks, near a tree facing the main seating area). They went well enough. I nailed my harmony on ‘Fisherman’s Wife,’ but as it’ll revert back to Karen when she is performing, it’s no big.

One rather funny thing: this is the first year MDRF has done a Robin Hood scenario. Apparently the RH from Southern Cal was available. He does a kid’s show, he’s a fighter, he has the costume… and so they built scenes into their day. I only had the chance to see one of them (on Sunday). The fighting was fine. The script was passable. Their Marian was very pretty - completely objectively, she was way prettier than me – but not remarkable otherwise. I met the actor who plays Hood that morning, thanks to Robin. (“Robin Hood, meet our Maid Marian.”) Funny; he knew all about this year’s cast changes. What the hell are they saying about NYRF in Southern Cal? I am perplexed.

A word as to the Pirates Royale (the House Band of the MDRF): they are astoundingly talented. Fantastic musicians, great voices, wonderful arrangements… I only wish I knew them better. I am so frelling shy, and feel like such a fifth – or seventh, or twelfth – wheel in this group, I say “Hi” and fade into the background. Don’t know why that wasn’t the case with the Corsairs, but there it is. I’m not comfortable. I feel a bit of an intruder (and this may tie in with the *aforementioned unrest).

In any event, we returned to the hotel Saturday evening, had an early dinner and went to bed early as well (only to toss and turn, bemoaning cold-congested lungs).

Sunday dawned cold and rainy. Good thing I crocheted that scarf. Had ‘Henry Martin’ at the first set (thank heavens!). So, I’m singing away, and as I hit the fourth verse, I realize I had skipped the second. You know, the one where it introduces the titular character. I blinked rapidly and stumbled on, thinking “They’ll go with me. Sure, they may not know who the hell I’m singing about, but…” Not my finest moment.

I got to meet kachi113!!! She’s just as fabulous in person as she is online. With her horsemanship, her cool-collectedness and her admirable height, I’d say she is prime jouster material. Think about it, kachi. I’m just sayin’. For the future.

Bad moment on Sunday was when we did ‘Strike the Bell.’ Now, it is pretty straightforward song, pumped up by onstage antics. Normally, it is my job to man the clapper-less bell (and play various reasons why I’m not sounding it until the end of the song). Since I was busy jousting and fighting and being a mythopoetic archetype this summer, Lionel covered the bell bit. When we went to perform it at the tavern on Sunday, I automatically went for the bell (it’s a thing with our enormous group: if a bit is yours, it is yours whenever you are there; someone else may fill in when you are gone, but once you are back, you reclaim it). Anyway (and let me insert a warning for extreme pettiness ahead!), as I was searching for the bell, Lionel grabbed it.
“I thought I was,” I began.
“I’ve got it,” he put in.

Okay. Fine. No big.

Until the song started, and he was doing my jokes. He did a few of his own bits, but several were things that I had always done. You know… I really don’t care if you take my bit, but MAKE UP YOUR OWN FRELLING JOKES, ASSHAT! And seriously, now I don’t even want it back; anyone who saw the Faire this summer will think I’m ripping off Lionel’s jokes.

Which leads me to this: I think I need a break. I have not had a break in working Faire in some aspect, be it the actual show or CPs, in over two years – if not more. I think we all need a break. I can tell you this: I came damned close to quitting the group two weeks ago. Ditto for this past weekend.

I could articulate the reasons here, but I would sound whiny and petty.

It can be summed up thus: I didn’t have fun. Maryland was not fun. That makes me cranky, because it really ought to have been.

Here’s hoping we don’t have rehearsals until the new year. Here’s hoping I can recharge.

Now I’d like nothing more than to call in to work the next four weeks, write a gloriously bad 50,000 word novel and play bodhran and pennywhistle (not simultaneously, of course) until I force myself to get better at both.

Valuable lesson is this, kids: sometimes being a pirate is really frelling cool. Sometimes, it just sucks.
I feel: crankydisgruntled
Ilena Ayalanetsearcher on October 26th, 2004 09:28 pm (UTC)
Wow. I'm sorry that happened. :( Is it possible he just doesn't have any idea how much this is bothering you? (I don't really know him...) If it is, I'd try to talk it out with him. It'll just fester otherwise. :(

If you need a break, take one. If you go on when it's not fun it may only make it worse. *hugs*
Jodiladyariana2094 on October 26th, 2004 09:29 pm (UTC)
anyone who saw the Faire this summer will think I’m ripping off Lionel’s jokes.

I did see you guys at NYRF and when I saw Lionel doing your bit for "Strike the Bell", I knew that he was ripping you off and adding his own twist to it. I saw you do the bit last year at MDRF and I think you did a great job.

Hope things get better!

Peregrinejperegrine on October 26th, 2004 09:42 pm (UTC)
I definitely understand where you're coming from on the "bit stealing". It is NOT extreme pettiness on your part. He was dead WRONG. Period. That sort of behavior is a perfect recipe for bad feelings in the band. We've been through that a couple of times ourselves. It isn't pretty.

As for the needing a break and burnout kinda feeling, I can REALLY relate. I have been performing at Scarborough and otherwise every year for the past 12. Going on 10 seasons with the Corsairs. This coming year will make 8 in a row that we've pushed out a new CD. Ugh. I'm starting to feel like it's time for me to either take a break or find a slightly different direction.

There's definitely a different dynamic with the Pyrates. For whatever reason, I've always felt very at home with them. A year or so before we started doing the Invasion weekend there, Robbie and I went up and spent Labor Day weekend at MD. That was the first time that Peg opened up her house to us. Nowadays, it wouldn't be the same if I weren't staying at her place.

I can't say as I really understand your shyness (save that I was once the all-american wallflower). You are beautiful, talented, and lots of fun to hang out with. Get Involved, Woman! You're worth it!!
Nim: swordwomannimue9 on October 26th, 2004 10:10 pm (UTC)
~big squooshy hugs~ You are not being petty - he was actorbating all over your bit. I say pop Lionel in the nose and give the bell to a pirate of your choice.

I can't wait to see you in two-ish weeks! Knives and chatting, two of my favorite things ever.... :0)
Jared: BRAKcrimsontom on October 27th, 2004 06:51 am (UTC)
Hmmm...Interesting. Sounds like a lot of us are on the same page about a lot of things. We should talk sometime.
Goddessavhi on October 27th, 2004 07:19 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear you didn't have fun at MDRF. I agree with you in regards to the faire itself.

As to your vent (not that you solicited my advice but in reading your journal, I see you and I seem to have alot in common.) -- boy I hear you on all aspects and I am amazed at how you can all go year after year with this. But other members have taken breaks...maybe it is better to step back and away for a while and refresh, so that you don't end up doing er ah...spontaneous :)...that you might not like afterward. Just a thought. You owe it to yourself to be happy and step back when you need it.

I'll be joining you in said novel :) I signed up too and oh boy what in tarnation did i get myself into?

Hang in there and pamper yourself during these chilly winter nights!

Oh and I made a post on my journal that has a question for you and Kelley. Let me know whatever you may think or decide (after this post, I'd totally understand if you say no).


kelleymck on October 27th, 2004 07:55 am (UTC)
mmmph..well you know how I stand. And I think the whole group could use some time off from what I have heard. Ahvi...what post? What question??
Liadren McCarthymiatawolf on October 27th, 2004 05:09 pm (UTC)
I completely understand about burnout. I have played in many hats this year from manager to actor to boothie and finally but best of all mom. This has been a very long season and it finally feels like it ended. Don't get me wrong I like faire and all but this year I am happy it is over. I have a few more lose ends to tie up and I am off for a few.

Your rant is totally justified in my opinion. I hate it when some one steals my bits and plays them off as their own. He is smart enough to come up with his own bits he shouldn't take yours.

Just so you know I have seen many a maid Marion's in my day and by far you play her the best. I honestly like you ease with the character. You give her a quality that I rarely see. Everyone I have seen play her comes off as haughty. You don't. Any ways enough blowing smoke up your butt. Do you have a bigger head now.... No really I do mean it. I hate bad acting jobs.

I wish I got to go to MDRF this year but we will so be there next year.
Sarah: Stallionskachi113 on October 28th, 2004 05:37 pm (UTC)
It sucks that you didn't have a good time at the MDRF. =( I did...And I haven't stopped listening to the Crimson Pirates CD for four days now. ::shifty eyes::

Did you ever get your chocolate cake?

I got to meet kachi113!!! She’s just as fabulous in person as she is online. With her horsemanship, her cool-collectedness and her admirable height, I’d say she is prime jouster material. Think about it, kachi. I’m just sayin’. For the future.

::bounce:: I got three exclamation points!!! That and the 'prime jouster material' are the biggest compliments that I've gotten since...ever-ish. Being a jouster someday would be completely amazing...In all honesty I’m not that good of a rider, but I can gallop at things easily enough, I think the ‘while holding a stick’ and the ‘hitting the other large object hurtling towards you’ aspects would prove more difficult.

And yes. Back at you with the fabulous-ness. =D