Log in

No account? Create an account
20 October 2004 @ 06:43 pm
I am not completely inept, physically speaking. While I'm no J.L., I do have a certain amount of physical aptitude. I learn fights quickly, and (I think) well. Save for strength issues, I picked up jousting and tiltyard games rather easily. I can learn dances (nothing insanely hard, mind).

That being said, I can NOT split firewood worth a damn. Truly. Ok, ok, this is the first time I've attempted it, and that axe is a bit rusty, but still.. Don managed just fine. It was frelling slapstick when I gave it a go. Oh, I didn't give up. It took me a good long while, but I split several logs and then chopped three more into kindling. But it wasn't pretty. Not in the slightest. I actually looked around a few times to be certain that no one was watching. I think a few deer may have crept up in the woods. I swear I heard muffled laughter.

Now I'm grumpy and determined. I will get this, dammit. I will be independent mountain-type-woman.

I just know I'm going to dream of Larry tonight: chopping wood at my campsite at Faire. Effortlessly. Fluidly. Gah.

In other news, I'm going to start the fire in the woodstove before Don gets home. Mostly so he won't see my pathetic attempt to do so. Who knows? Maybe I used up my 'dumbass' allotment on the woodchopping, and my fire kindling skills will prove excellent.
the_wild_bunny on October 20th, 2004 04:10 pm (UTC)
*snickers* Uh...I can't do it either!!

Kelladyjoust on October 20th, 2004 04:35 pm (UTC)
Eh. Go ahead and laugh. I can not deny in the slightest how ridiculous my attempts were! At one point, I burst out laughing.
Ilena Ayalanetsearcher on October 21st, 2004 08:09 am (UTC)
Not that I can chop worth a darn (haven't needed to), but if you were stifling laughter, I'm sure that didn't help your concentration. :) You'll get the swing of things (so to speak), eventually.
Jobs, baby, Jobs!picoland on October 21st, 2004 04:53 am (UTC)
you're still pretty good at splitting lances....course that's stunt wood....

what kind of wood was it?
Ilena Ayalanetsearcher on October 21st, 2004 08:10 am (UTC)
I believe it's balsa wood -the same type used for modelmaking.
Jobs, baby, Jobs!picoland on October 22nd, 2004 07:19 pm (UTC)
I knew that, the other wood....

otherwood...hmmm sounds like a good book title......
kelleymck on October 21st, 2004 06:50 am (UTC)
Ahhh but Larry had built a log cabin with his father...lots and lots of practice. Course I wont argue with your desire to run the pic of him choppin wood in your head...we are but human.
Vampcursevampcurse on October 21st, 2004 07:53 am (UTC)
Have you tried this:

Swing the axe as far into the log as you can. Then, depending on how heavy, lift the whole shooting match in the air and drop! Repeat once, maybe twice if necessary. Makes it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH EASIER. Great work out for the arms too! Yippee!
(no subject) - trongersoll on October 21st, 2004 08:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
Valeria Ottturtleott on October 21st, 2004 12:56 pm (UTC)
I definitely feel your embarrassment! When I was much younger and in great shape (I was a swimmer) I went to see my 80+ year old grandmother and attempted to chop and split some wood for her. I couldn't do it! She was laughing so hard I thought she'd pee her pants! She then took over and showed me how easy it was! Now THAT'S embarrassing!