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07 September 2004 @ 04:58 pm
Weekend the Fifth  
Yes, the marathon weekend! The three-dayer. Oh, yeah. Funny, you’d think with three days of performance, I’d have so much to write about. I guess exhaustion pushed anything of note out of my head. Ah, well. Here goes nothing. (note: I’ve now finished my blithering and find that I remembered a great deal more than I had anticipated. In other words, this is LONG!!!)

First of all, this weekend was the anniversary of my engagement to Don. There are actually still a few people at the Faire who will remember that day. Also – WOW! Lots of faces from the past as well as several visiting Ren Vets. The black eye is nearly gone, and what little remains is barely noticeable.

Saturday was a little warmer than I would have liked, but it was mostly sunny and not abysmally humid, so I oughtn’t complain. The day was all about pacing. I was determined to have enough voice to finish Monday (and then blow whatever was left at that day’s Pub Sing; it is tradition, after all!) Anyway, there were good sized crowds, though not terribly responsive. The Chess Games, in particular, were noticeably quiet.

Oso was a bit dehydrated (surprise, surprise) before the first joust, but he managed reasonably well. He was just unbearably pokey. Funny thing in the games: Lewis put his lance right through the shield of the solid quintain. The lance stuck; he had to ditch it and knock the second quintain over with his hand. When I rode, I put my lance right in the same damned hole. Perfectly. Guess that speaks well of our targeting, yes? Anyway, it dragged the lance from my grasp and I, too, had to use my hand on the second one. As for the passes, well, true to pattern, I got a rock-freakin’-solid break lance that absolutely numbed my right hand. When the Sheriff challenged me to ground combat, I answered, “If I can hold a sword…” Very intimidating, yes?

Most of the day was pretty straightforward. Chess Games were fine; actually, my fight with Hood was really good. The scenes went well. Wench sets were good, save for my utterly tanking on my “Caviar” verse. Yes, I’m still whinging about that. ::harrumph::

Second Joust was fine. I missed almost all of my solid lance hits this weekend. Naturally, this makes me cranky. I know I’m pulling my shield, too, on occasion. Kel lets me know. Further crankiness ensues. I’ve got to step up.

Gone are my days of mad partying at the campsite. Truth be told, I never partied all that madly, but I certainly used to imbibe more, sit around smoky campfires and stay up past midnight. I was also younger. No, this old girl went to bed at a sensible time after only a couple of beers and a splendid wrist massage from Robin Hood.

I slept for shit. The wind awoke me at around 4 a.m., and I was unable to get back to sleep. Dammit.

Sunday was cooler and cloudy. We had periods of very light rain/heavy mist, but all told it wasn’t bad. Morning wrist massage from chevalier776!!! He gave me one on Monday, too. I think I may have drooled. If I did, he was kind enough not to mention it.

The Hood/Marian fight was a bit sloppy, and we were both disappointed, but I think my fight with milfsrus was good. All three days, actually. Scene-wise, nothing stands out. ‘Meet the Band’ continues to be delightful. The kids are a joy! On the Wench front, I managed to come up with two more new verses (I was dreading that prospect – three days worth of anguish and certainty that my verses would be completely lame!). While “Ball” was only cute, “Caviar” was pretty good. It’s not often you can find a way to use ‘buggery’ and still make it innuendo.

There were joust incidents; once again, we had to readjust the show at the last minute. I have a vague recollection, somewhere in the distant past, the joust used to be the same every day. I even recall – barely! – what that was like. Still, “no blood, no foul.” Okay, there was the fake blood, but certainly that doesn’t count. The audience seemed to like the second Joust right well, and we all walked off the field intact. Except for Lewis, carried off in his posh little death cart. Diva.

Pub Sing wackiness was at its usual level. Kel and I danced around like idiots, ‘cause that’s what we do. During ‘Squid Jiggin’ Ground,’ I forgot where my verse came in – d’oh! I soon forgot about that. Why, you may ask? In her verse, Ann sings ‘One poor little b’y got it right in the eye,” and ‘b’y’ is pronounced to rhyme with ‘eye.’ I clapped a hand to my own eye and said “Ow!” Kel looked at me and said “Are you a b’y?” I gave her my best sultry look (which is rather silly, if you must know) and said “Why, are you asking?” There is a reason I tell this story. Perhaps you will find out if you read on…

Anyway, I ended the day working to convince myself I’d just completed a Saturday; the third day hurts a little less is you can make yourself believe this.

Monday (never to be referred to as ‘Black Monday,’ mind you) was gorgeous, weather-wise: clear, low 70’s, sunny with occasional clouds. The audience was HUGE. I’m curious to know what our gate was. We ran out of roses. We ran out of ice (though Chris was able to get an emergency delivery). The lines for food were incredible. Days like that, I’m almost happy that there’s no time to eat. On that note, I have to say: Trail Mix! Not just any trail mix, but happy trail mix that Nick picked up. Even those who are not fans of trail mix agree that this is magical; the proportion of salty to sweet is exquisitely balanced. It’s yummy and it gives a bit of salt and protein to keep me going. Two handfuls after the first joust, and I can go the rest of the day. And just because I don’t feel I’ve said it enough, trail mix trail mix trail mix.

I really wasn’t expecting anything to be different in my day. Well, I was wrong. In ‘Hood Meets Marian,’ (which went really, really well, by the bye), milfsrus usually slams her shoulder into me as she leaves. There I stood, waiting for the impact… and she licked me. Yup! On the right cheek. Did I mention she licked me? Then there was the Bridge scene. When Hood entered, I noticed he had a different shirt on. “Wonder what happened to his other one?” I thought. Then I noticed he had an old doublet on. And different boots. “Oh, Gods. He’s going in the water.”

For those who don’t know, there is a long-standing tradition at the Faire. On Labor day, during the Bridge scene, someone goes into the pond. That tradition was not upheld last year, since the water is utterly nasty. Believe me when I say this. So it was that I was truly surprised when I realized Hood was going in. Apparently the word had gone out to most of the cast; there were a good number of actors lurking about to see the big splash. The audience loved it. Of course I muttered to Hood to wash off the cut on his finger and put antiseptic on it immediately before I trotted over to the Chess Board. Hood was a little late in coming there, since he had to shower off the foul water first.

Chess Game One? Not so good for Hood and I. Y’know, things happen. They happen to all fighters. One shouldn’t get the look of Death over it. That’s all I’m saying. No, I’ll say one more thing: I just realized I’m still angry.

Joust One started well for me. I did well on the games, save the tossed rings. One actually hit my horse in the ear, and another nearly hit me in the head. What gives? Did my three passes with Nick, did the ground fight (properly!), went to get retrieve my sword… and heard “Watch out – behind you, Marian…” The Sheriff had ridden Dante out to challenge Nick to the next tilt. We assume Dante didn’t see me. His knee caught me in the back. One hoof tagged my elbow (which was in armor) and another got my left thigh. It was the front of the hoof as he was stepping forward, and it just got the muscle. Kel became Astounding Adrenaline Lass and lifted me all but bodily onto the hay bale. Several people came running over; I assured them I was fine. Then I turned to Kel and said, “At least tell me it looked bad-ass.” She assured me that it had.

{as an aside: I really am fine. I’ve got a lovely bruise blooming (though a patch of psoriasis will hide some of it), and my left thigh is swollen something fierce, but it will heal. These things happen. We work with 1500 lb. animals. They’re smart, but they aren’t always that smart. I said it when I got the black eye: it isn’t surprising that these things happen; it’s actually surprising they don’t happen more often}

Back to Joust One… I had to get back on my horse to challenge the Sheriff. I rode out to the center (where he’d just ‘kicked’ Nick in the nether regions). “I thought I got you with my horse!” he shouted. “That didn’t work,” said Superhero Marian. Then, pointing to Nick “and neither will this. On your horse. On the list. Now.” Apparently, Lewis went back to his section and said something to the effect of “I ran over her with my horse and she wants to get up and joust me. She’s a tough bitch!” The crowd went nuts. We finished without further incident. I insisted I didn’t need to see the EMTs, ate my magical trail mix, and moved on to the next thing.

So… the 5:00 Wench set was a very happy thing. Not only did I not tank either of my verses, but I had managed to come up with one for Kel’s character, Carrie Standard. Remember the Pub Sing incident from four thousand paragraphs ago? I used it as my springboard. Though I don’t normally post my verses, I was really proud of this one, especially since I thought I wasn’t going to be able to top the ‘buggery’ verse; you can’t hear my inflection, of course, but I know y’all can figure it out on your own:
“I gave caviar to Carrie Standard-
My column helps her paper fly.
She said I should submit twice weekly;
Seems she wants me to go bi-!”
I was most pleased with my Ball verse as well (especially singing it at Pub Sing, draped over my four joust teammates).

Joust Two was, once again, splendid. We had another one of those crowds that was intensely into it. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to remount my horse unassisted, so we gave Will Scarlet the crash course in giving a ‘leg up.’ As it turns out, that put even more pressure on the leg than mounting myself, so when it came time to get on after the ceremony, I stuck my left foot in the stirrup and hauled myself on. I did let out something not unlike a roar as I did so. The pain had to go somewhere!

The joust passes were good. Not brilliant, for my part, and I know I pulled my shield (which is really starting to gorram piss me off!!!) a couple of times. The guys weren’t looking to hit me hard, anyway, in deference to it being the end of Day Three and me with an ouchy leg. Still, Lewis and I had a few double hits that I’m told were pretty. My horse was primed. The evening was cool and Oso was full of energy. He even kicked his heels up as we hit the list in an early pass. He bounced into the pockets, threw his head, danced about as we waited – but he still listened to what I asked of him. After the final hit, I ripped my helm off as we neared the pocket. Oso stiff-legged it, jouncing me, and I damned near came off. My left leg was in front of the saddle; my seat was appalling. I scooted myself back with a considerable lack of grace and rode to the center to receive the Queen’s pronouncement. Skillet arms were mentioned. My horse spun about. We cantered to the center and to the Sheriff’s treachery and then the real fun began.

I love hearing the crowd’s response to the end scene. There is just a wall of sound as they scream and boo the Sheriff. I’ve noted before, I believe, the visceral reaction to being flung to one’s knees before an executioner’s block. Well, after three days of physically, emotionally and creatively exhausting activity, we were nearly done with the day. We’d made it through safely. Add that to my normal reaction, the adrenaline of the joust itself and the energy of the audience at that moment – I nearly began to sob when my neck hit the wood. Suck it up; you’re nearly done, I thought. Then Hood came in, the fight began, and there was another kind of joy threaded though everything else.

I love this place. I love this job. I love what I have a chance to do, and I so very much love the people I share it with.

Okay, mushy moment done.

Pub Sing was a blast. Kel and I engaged in our traditional “Blow out whatever you have left!” though admittedly I was dancing on one leg and thus couldn’t do it the justice I had hoped. As I’d mentioned earlier, I sang my “Ball” verse to the jousters. It just made me happy!

So… an epic-length entry for a novella-length weekend. I’m going to go soak in an Epsom-salt bath and think healing thoughts.
I feel: exhaustedwrung-out
I hear: "Oh, this is the place with the Fisherman's Platter!"
Jaredcrimsontom on September 7th, 2004 02:31 pm (UTC)
What was that about not getting everything? Geez, my recap is going to have less than yours!! lol
Glad to know the trampling wasn't that bad (been there done that...not fun!!!)
As for the eye of death moment, well we all know R can over react, but she did get it in the elbow and D nearly missed getting it in the head.
That aside, Hood knew it. The look on his face when he turned to us said it all. VERY wide eyed with the "I'm in trouble aren't I?" look. Regardless, it's over and done with, nobody got hurt and we move on.

Now if I can only get my voice back by Saturday.
Kelladyjoust on September 7th, 2004 02:47 pm (UTC)
I know what it's like to almost get hit with flying weapons. We're sitting on the sideline of a Chess Board, It happens. We don't want it to, but it does.

There's history behind my concern about R's reaction to Hood. I just don't to deal with that again.
Kelladyjoust on September 7th, 2004 05:33 pm (UTC)
I realized in my fit of pique (sorry!) I only responded to one part of your own response.

Yes, I've been run over before. And fallen on. And it is never pretty. Allow me to say, a full day later, "ow."

I'm running at about half-voice right now. I'll be all right come Saturday. Sheer willpower alone will make it so. Funny, but I really do believe that.
Jaredcrimsontom on September 7th, 2004 06:09 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I think willpower has a lot to do with how we do what we do. I, like you am back to about 50% but I am working on moving that up to at leat 90 by Friday night.
Keeping our fingers crossed!!!
btw- If you ever need it I have good (read: 600mg) Ibuprofen in my bag backstage.
Kelladyjoust on September 7th, 2004 06:11 pm (UTC)
600 mg? DUDE!!!! (sorry, just channeled Katie) I will so take you up on that!
Kelladyjoust on September 7th, 2004 06:11 pm (UTC)
Oh, and because I'm a big dork, I just wanted to let you know I sent you a gmail.
Jaredcrimsontom on September 8th, 2004 09:11 am (UTC)
1) Ah Percription strength Ibuprofen - Three advil rolled into one!

2) Got it thanks. I forget I have that account sometimes. See my reply!
moileaflette on September 7th, 2004 03:01 pm (UTC)
Ahhh, makes me want to hop the next plane up! Do take care of yourself! *sends healing thoughts*

Btw, have you gotten anything in the mail lately?
Kelladyjoust on September 7th, 2004 04:50 pm (UTC)
Ash, my love... I JUST got it because it got buried on my dining room table, and was unearthed when my sainted husband was cleaning today!!!!

:::::SQUISH!!!!:::: You are lovely, dear, and thank you for thinking of me.

And you know I want you to hop the next plane up. ::stamps foot impatiently::
Stealth Chaos Butterfly: brilliant // beyond wordsbunnymcfoo on September 7th, 2004 03:13 pm (UTC)
*grumbles fondly*

I wanna know what your Ball and Caviar verses were. =P In particular, I wanna know if Nick ever got his.

Oh, and I wish I'd been there! RAWR!!

*sends you tubs of arnica*
Kelladyjoust on September 7th, 2004 04:52 pm (UTC)
If I can remember what on earth they were, I'll send you the verses, or even just post them here.

Alysha wrote a verse for Nick. It wasn't particularly memorable, but it made him so veryvery happy!!! Oh, and my Ball verse for the jousters included him - in fact, I draped myself over the lads and he had to hold my leg up against him. ::teehee::

That verse I shall give you know. Once again, you'll know just what words deserve a wee bit more weight:
"I am a lady jouster,
I am neither mild nor meek.
I get off almost every day
'cause I work four knights a week."
Stealth Chaos Butterflybunnymcfoo on September 7th, 2004 10:58 pm (UTC)
Kelly, you're my frelling idol, you know that?

I am so amused, and I can hear you singing that in my head. ^_^
Kelladyjoust on September 8th, 2004 06:42 pm (UTC)
::squishes her shiny foo::

thank you, sweetling! I was really proud of that one; the b'ys loved it, too.
Jobs, baby, Jobs!picoland on September 7th, 2004 06:03 pm (UTC)
you're hardcore.....
I dig that.

gotta watch father of the pride MAre's pulling me away...

Kendallmilfsrus on September 8th, 2004 06:56 am (UTC)
I'm Giggling cause I got to lick Maid Marion. I had planned that since Saturday. Thinking that it would be the ultimate ick. And your response was great! Hmmmmm maybe now I know why Killmore doesn't like Marion. Jilted maybe!

By the by I also have an 800 mg Advil that has your name on it if you need.

Jaredcrimsontom on September 8th, 2004 09:12 am (UTC)
And now I understand the "She tastes good!" comment from the chess board! HA!
kelleymck on September 8th, 2004 10:13 am (UTC)
you yelling at Lewis after getting stepped on was possibly THE most bad ass thing I have ever witnessed
ptimonyptimony on September 8th, 2004 02:28 pm (UTC)
Kelly, whenever I get injured at Faire, I like to think, "The jousters will be so proud of me!"

Kelladyjoust on September 8th, 2004 02:30 pm (UTC)
Kelladyjoust on September 8th, 2004 06:43 pm (UTC)
And you have to know how happy it makes me to hear you say that!!!!