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08 June 2003 @ 09:48 pm
First Faire Rehearsal  
Well. This was a full day. I had a court-dance rehearsal for two hours, beginning at two p.m. My partner, of course, was the actor playing Robin Hood to my Maid Marian. We had a blast, snorting our painfully inept way through the choreography (which is silly since he moves so gorgeously... I think I'm holding him back!). Then it was on to the Opening Gate scene, and my directorial debut. It went much better than I expected. I actually had notes and suggestions, though I refrained from giving character notes (which I feared I might do). It was most pleasant.

We did one of the bridge scenes after that. The script is emotionally intense (for Faire, anyway), with a great deal at stake for the Merry Band. Of course there's a fight - any chance to swing swords about! - and I'm fighting Gisbourne (played by my friend 'A.'). Now... I am not the most confident of women. I desperately long to be beautiful, pretty, moderately attractive, even, and yet I fear I am merely passable. There are a certain few people who make me feel as if I am not just beautiful but desirable as well. 'A.' happens to be one of them. We were joking around about Gisbourne and Marian having their fight, and that maybe they should just snog. 'A.' grinned. "Oh, if only we weren't both married!" said he. Last summer he let slip a random comment (upon seeing me on a Sunday evening, sweaty and stained with the dirt of the joust field, hair released and frizzy-wild: "You are so hot. You really are.") that made me feel the same way. I know he is utterly devoted to his lady, as I am thoroughly in love with my husband. It is still amazing to me to know that I may, in whatever small regard, be attractive to another handsome man. Frankly, it floors me. And confuses me. When will I get some self-esteem?

In any event, I feel creatively revitalized by today's rehearsal. Here's hoping it lasts!
 
 
I feel: rejuvenatedrejuvenated
I hear: "A Mighty Wind" soundtrack