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01 July 2003 @ 09:06 pm
I must be PMSing. I got cranky with Don when he told me he would be home this evening. I had thought he had rehearsal, and had already decided not to make dinner as that would entail a trip to the grocery store. He was lovely, assuring me I didn't need to worry, he would fend for himself. Naturally this made me grumble more.

Went up to the Faire and rode Smoke (or 'Freak-horse' as we affectionately call him). We got him last year on the assurance that he would be a 'perfect' joust horse. If 'perfect' means shying at everything from the flags to the drums to the lances, rearing up, trampling your rider when he does his fall, and ramming into a squire, 'perfect' he was! He's very high strung, and I suspect there's abuse in his past. He really is a sweetie, and so we're trying to work with him in the hopes that he will settle down. You have to ride him with a feather-light hand and a willingness to just go with any sudden movements. I rode him for about half an hour, and he did pretty well for me. There was that moment when he shied from the sound of sand against a large leaf, but otherwise no big problems, so I was pretty happy about that. I helped feed, which inexplicably left me feeling very content.

In the car on the way home, I heard Dar's "When I Was a Boy." I burst into tears. Once I got myself together, I started feeling guilty for my earlier grumbliness to Don, I stopped at the grocery store to buy ingredients for one of his favorite dinners (seafood quiche.. the low carb way!). Turns out he DID have a workshop to teach, and will be home late after all. That, naturally, increases further the guilt for earlier tatchiness. My moods have just been all over the place! *sigh*

"When I Was A Boy
Dar Williams

I won't forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I'm glad he didn't check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other's lives out on the pirate's deck.
And I remember that night
When I'm leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it's not safe, someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.
When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor come outside to say, "Get your shirt,"
I said "No way, it's the last time I'm not breaking any law."
And now I'm in a clothing store, and the sign says less is more
More that's tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat

When I was a boy, see that picture? That was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they've got implants to put in, they've got implants to remove
But I am not forgetting
That I was a boy too

And like the woods where I would creep, it's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, except when I'm being caught off guard
I've had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.
And I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived
And I say now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won
And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you. "
I feel: perverse
I hear: "When I Was a Boy," Dar Williams