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30 December 2007 @ 10:40 pm
I had a rather grueling and terribly specific nightmare last evening.

I arrived late to the very first kickboxing class that I was teaching. Liz (an instructor who, in real life, is completely wonderful and positive and supportive and awesome) had opened the door and turned on the music. She stepped aside as I started the warm-up, but immediately piped up with, “We can’t hear you!” and “Did you mean to do that stretch now?” Flustered, I tried to soldier on. A few minutes later, a reddish liquid began to ooze from the walls. Moments later it turned into purple smoke. We evacuated the space while a crew in HAZMAT suits went to work; a few minutes later, they told us the highly toxic fumes were entirely gone and that it was safe to continue the class. No sooner had we arranged ourselves once more than Liz called out, “Didn’t you already do that stretch?” and someone collapsed. An ambulance arrived in due order and whisked the poor woman away.

Class started in earnest. I called out rather lame moves and Liz supplied commentary. It wasn’t long before someone else fell, hitting their head against the metal framework, and another ambulance took her off to the hospital as well. When we finished at last (I was able to think of all of two ab exercises, and totally bolloxed the cool-down) Liz took me to a back room where Angela was waiting on speaker phone. “After every class, participants go online to rate the experience. I’ve never fallen below a 99.3% rating.” There was a moment of silence. A long, long moment. “After your class, it’s fallen to a 19.2%”

And then I woke up, too hot under the flannel sheets and panicky that I was late for class even though it was 2 a.m.

I managed to fall back asleep at last, probably about 3:30, only to wake up again at 7. I could have rolled over and tried to get some more sleep, but here’s the thing: I had to get up and teach my very first kickboxing class. heh.

I’ve known about this since last Sunday. Between the New Year’s holiday and instructors being out of town, there wouldn’t be any classes for three full days. Angela asked if I might be ready to try a class on Sunday the 30th. “No. No, really not,” was my immediate reply. But I realized that I was never, but never, going to feel ready. “All right,” I said, “I’ll do it.” I fully meant to go home that day and write up every possible type of attack and combination I could think of... but I baked Christmas cookies and wrapped gifts and cleaned my house. The rest of the week was taken up with the holidays and family and work and doctor’s visits and an impromptu ‘OH SWEET HEAVENS LET ME BE READY TO TEACH!’ session with Angela on Wednesday. It was only on Saturday evening that I finally sat down and tried to suss out exactly how I’d fill an hour of class time. It took me forever, and even then all I could think was, “This is boring. People will complain about the lameness of my class. gah.” but there came a point when I was so exhausted that all I could do was go to bed and hope to get a good night’s sleep (and look how well that turned out!).

Nightmare aside, it wasn’t all that bad. I wasn’t late (though there was a potentially VeryBad key mishap), no one taunted me, there were no toxic vapors. One woman did leave early because of back pain, but I didn’t send anyone to the hospital. The class was beyond packed, which was intimidating, and I was desperately worried that I wouldn’t give some of the really crazy fit folks a good workout. As it is, I got some nice feedback from people, including a few regulars who asked how long I’d been teaching. “Erm... an hour.” And lovely Ginny told me it was clear that people were having fun, even though I couldn’t see it because I was too busy thinking, “holy crow, what the hell’s next?” and I totally blanked during the warm-up, which you think would be no problem since I’ve done a million of them at Faire (and I did the “I ride a fat horse!” stretch as a nod).

But I’m blithering. The point is I made it through my first class. Didn’t suck. Yay.

Oh, and my dream editor can seriously take a vacation. yeesh.
I feel: irritatedcrampy
La Petite Souris Scientifiquemelebeth on December 31st, 2007 03:55 am (UTC)
Yay! You kick ass!
Kerry: Ewan Squeescreamingdolai on December 31st, 2007 05:12 am (UTC)
OMG, look at you go! I bet everyone had a blast with you as a teacher and you made them feel really good. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could teach back-to-back classes of belly dance and kick box?
Kel: kickin' some assladyjoust on December 31st, 2007 03:37 pm (UTC)
hee. I hope you're right!

And that would be one awesome class lineup!
harpiegirl4harpiegirl4 on December 31st, 2007 12:44 pm (UTC)
Congrats! Great job, honey. What a wonderful accomplishment! Here's to your subconcious getting the memo! ;)
Fjordhopper: Welcome winterfjordhopper on December 31st, 2007 04:19 pm (UTC)

and Eeek! what an awful dream!
Mairearanturas on December 31st, 2007 05:55 pm (UTC)
I think you should take your dream editor out back and kick her ass....gee, you don't suck..who'd have thunk it? ;)