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27 November 2007 @ 10:15 pm
This holiday season will be different.

There's the obvious: it's going to be the first Christmas with Dad gone. Even typing that made me weepy. Yeesh.

There's the conscious decision to spend less. Frankly, I really can't afford to get stuff just so I have stuff to give to people. Don't get me wrong - I adore giving gifts, far more than I enjoy receiving them. It's just that I want what I give to mean something. I don't know if I have time for a whole lot of handmade gifts, but I'm going to do my best. Also, I plan to donate to charities in people's names.

Then there's the fully ingrained in blood and bone and psyche "But I MUST Get The Perfect _______ for ______!" It's ingrained. Knowing it's there is one thing; making it go away all at once? Not so easy.

Since I was sort of trapped at home today, I had a lot of time to think of this (well, in between my car being rather shockingly compromised by the tow-truck, laundry, chopping kindling and trying to coax the insane kitten back into the basement, seeing as that's where the litter boxes are). While I can't say I've made any real progress, I've at least made a start on each point.

As to the first: I've finally begun writing my sympathy thank-you cards. Mind, when I sat down to organize cards and addresses, I fully lost it. Finally got it together, though, and have finished all but a few. Apologies to anyone who thinks I've forgotten their kindnesses. I haven't. I'm just a mess and I'm hoping that there's a bit more leeway in sending cards in this instance than say, for wedding gifts. For which, in fact, I still owe people thank-you cards and I've been married ten years now, so relatively speaking I'm not doing as badly as I might.

As to the second: I finally made a donation to kiva.org. I've been meaning to for absolutely forever. I'd heard of it on NPR, and then - of course - on brotherhood 2.0, but I didn't have the ready funds, or the time, or the focus to remember I meant to donate. It isn't in anyone's name and it isn't a huge amount, but it sets the precedent. I'm only sorry I didn't do it sooner.

As to the third: I'm never going to get over wanting to get something particularly special for my husband. It usually takes me forever to figure something out, and let me tell you it's anxiety-creating when I actually have to make it, as with his Starman jacket. So, November 27th: special gift is done. I ordered this, and also a case. Now, I know it's something he wants; in fact, he sort of babbles about it every so often. Very cute. Much as I'd like to surprise him, I'd rather be sure he has something he'll use and really appreciate.

Oh, and he checks LJ about every third never, so no worries about him seeing this post.
I feel: contemplativecontemplative
Julia: CB Sally & Linus loveigraine120 on November 28th, 2007 03:58 am (UTC)
Yeah, holidays suck. I'll tell you what's worse though: Father's Day. I never realized how obnoxious Mothers Day advertising is until my mom died. Seriously, it's EVERYWHERE. "Don't forget a gift for mom!" on every sign in every store. It. Blows.
At least we have nice memories of Christmas with our parents, though.
Kel: Ten/Sarah Janeladyjoust on November 28th, 2007 04:01 am (UTC)
*hugs muchly*
Jobs, baby, Jobs!picoland on November 28th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC)
Father's day for me sucked even harder right after cuz we lost him two days before FD.


I wrote a nerdfighter verse- you can read it under X- Marvelous Intern

Andrewquueer on November 28th, 2007 04:06 pm (UTC)
Everyone is getting cards from me, unless they're getting nothing at all.

Cattomincloset on November 29th, 2007 01:33 am (UTC)
Here's a Xmas present we can give each other...a trail ride on our next mutual day off!
Or you can write me a dirty limerick.
Remember, in heaven you get to hang out with the dog and eat sweet potatoes (a conclusion I came to when I was 5), and you can have all the eggnog and cake you want, and calories don't exist.
Here on earth, angel wings and hugs are the same thing.
Kelladyjoust on December 12th, 2007 02:49 am (UTC)
I love that idea. The riding, that is. I SOOOOO need my horsie fix, and I miss you so a trail ride would be complete win.