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15 September 2005 @ 06:02 pm

Upon getting out of the shower this morning, I noticed my bra, which I had placed with undies and socks on the lid of the toilet, had fallen to the floor. I bent to pick it up... and froze. The big damned brown spider was sitting on one of the underwires. I whimpered for a moment. Then, because I am a girl of action, I formulated a Plan.

Moving quickly, I fetched the plastic cup from two days prior. I'd left it in the bathroom on the off chance the spider might return. Clearly, the spider saw me and quickly figured out my intentions. It started to scuttle to the other side of the bra. I slammed the cup over it and slid my hand beneath the bra. Ha! The spider was trapped! Only I was holding a cup and a bra and I could feel the vibrations of the spider moving around inside. I might or might not have heard the sound of tiny power tools as the arachnid planned an A-Team style escape.

Clad only in a towel - which was started to slide southward - I hurried to the kitchen door. I slid it open and stepped barefoot into the misty pre-dawn morning. Fortunately no wildlife was visiting at the moment. Deer would have been manageable, but the bear or skunks? Not so much. I whipped the bra away and tipped the cup over. The spider fell to the ground - I think. I leapt back, squealing and shaking the cup - and then the bra - for good measure. It wasn't until I got back to the door that it occurred to me that the spider might have burrowed into a fold of fabric (the bra is a sort of hybrid between regular and sports bra, and so has an extra layer of material over the cups).

You must believe me when I tell you that it took considerable intestinal fortitude to peer into those folds. When initial inspection proved it was spider free, I turned it inside out for good measure.

Then I went back inside and prepared to go to work as if I weren't the world's girliest freakin' jouster.

Here's what troubles me, though. It is apparent that the spider was lurking, just waiting for a chance to get me. Sure, my bravery and derring-do caught it by surprise. And yet - what other surprises might it have in store?

What if it has an evil(er) twin?
I feel: distressedaaaaaaaaaaah!
Mairearanturas on September 15th, 2005 11:03 pm (UTC)
Maybe it was patiently waiting for someone to let it out of the house it got trapped in and now will do your bidding -- (think Androcles and the Lion) It is now telling all it's spider friends(outside) to leave the nice lady in the house alone. :)
Kathytoosha on September 15th, 2005 11:04 pm (UTC)
Last night I saw something crawl in to the binding of my Mother's book. I should've taken the "Set it free" route but didn't and pounded the binding.

Nimnimue9 on September 15th, 2005 11:10 pm (UTC)
Ew, it moved! Ick. Bleagh. Don't be down on yourself for screaming, at least you didn't faint.
Mollyzapthatmonster on September 15th, 2005 11:30 pm (UTC)
At least it wasn't a giant beetle...

On your toothbrush..

That you were about to stick in your mouth.

-shudders- Yes, that did happen to me. I flung the toothbrush into the air, and raced from the room, I did not brush my teeth that night.
Kel: oh dear godladyjoust on September 15th, 2005 11:41 pm (UTC)
Adrienne C.adrienne429 on September 16th, 2005 01:46 am (UTC)
Just reading about your spider adventures has me convinced that you must write that story you talked about in work. Remember?
Jobs, baby, Jobs!picoland on September 16th, 2005 02:09 am (UTC)
I had a cockroach land on my cheek once, when I worked at a mexican restaurant while I was putting in an order.. I screamed like Homer Simpson..
Kathytoosha on September 16th, 2005 12:45 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry but I had to laugh at that because I can hear you in my head.

but overall *shudder*
Cookglances_benign on September 16th, 2005 04:45 am (UTC)
Great. By now it's gotten over here to join its friends. Thanks a lot. :)
Vampcursevampcurse on September 16th, 2005 11:54 am (UTC)
And the spider came back,
the very next day,
the spider came back...she thought it was a gonner,
but the spider came back,
he just couldn't stay awaaaaaay...
Julietfair_juliet on September 16th, 2005 02:55 pm (UTC)
that song was in my dream last night. But then so was a dictaitor and Fred Penner so whatever that means.
Ilena Ayalanetsearcher on September 22nd, 2005 02:41 am (UTC)
My house had a lot of spiders in it when we moved in. I'm ok with spiders, but at one point I purchased a little Venus Fly Trap plant and fed it all the spiders I could catch.

And the plant bloomed...