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13 September 2005 @ 08:42 pm
 
This morning as I took my shower, I chanced to glance up at the top of the liner. I'm not sure what whim of fate directed my gaze there, but lo! I did espy a huge-ass big brown bulbous spider. Mind, I was in mid-shampoo. I had yet to condition, comb (I have messy, tangled locks) and tend to the rest of myself. Swallowing a high, girly shriek, I pushed the loops holding the curtain and liner closer together, therein trapping the spider and leaving me to finish my shower in peace. And by peace I mean panic. With water spraying out over the edge of the tub to my bathroom floor.

A quick and very timid peek revealed that the spider had remained on the liner, motionless. I thought to mention it to my husband when I went to kiss his slumbering form. "Nah," I decided, "he's a guy. He'll manage just fine."

So off went I to work. In the tedium of shelving and answering phones and saying over and over and over yet again, "We don't stock textbooks in the store. I might be able to order them for you..." I forgot all about my arachnid encounter.

Pity, that.

I came home from work, laden with bags of healthful and nutritious food with which to make my (perhaps) spider-surprised husband a tasty dinner. Into the bathroom went I to place my new shampoo and conditioner (not ingredients for the aforementioned dinner, I might add) onto the tub when what should I spy but the HUGE FRELLING SPIDER. It was in the very same place it had been this morning. After the echoes of that long quelled girly shriek subsided, I realized this was telling. I shook the shower liner gingerly. The spider didn't budge. I gave it another go, this time with considerably more vigor. Nothing.

Ah. Dead.

No worries, then. I went to put groceries away, feed the kitties, take the recycling to the bin outside. Then, I returned to the scene of the spider to dispose of the body.

It was gone.

I leave it to your imaginations to envision the panic, the poking at corners with a broomstick, the frantic batting at my own hair lest it somehow made a last jump for it... None of this yielded any fruit.

The spider is still at large. It may be lurking in my bedroom for all I know. Waiting.

Or, by some very odd twist of fate, the corpse (if such it was!) might have dropped into the tub and one of my kitties my have eaten it. Unlikely, considering they never bother with any creepy crawlies that are alive.

Only time will tell.
 
 
I feel: distressedicked
 
 
 
Helensilawenyai on September 14th, 2005 01:22 am (UTC)
Best. Spider story. Ever.

*giggle*

I wish you luck in your quest for the Undead Spider of Doom.
aryianaaryiana on September 14th, 2005 01:47 am (UTC)
Gee... and I thought McK was the only "K" freaked by spiders!! From my husband: "She's a jouster - she shouldn't be afraid of a spider"...

BTW - love reading your graphic descriptions of everyday life!

Pumpkin bread this week (to test run before Cloisters) with the brownies (of course)
Julietfair_juliet on September 14th, 2005 01:54 am (UTC)
I HATE spiders!!!! I totally feel you. eep!
Vampcursevampcurse on September 14th, 2005 11:31 am (UTC)
For the most part, spiders don't bother me...but I don't like sharing my shower with them so I'm right there with ya!

Snakes on the other hand...well, we've discussed them.
Liadren McCarthymiatawolf on September 14th, 2005 01:52 pm (UTC)
I don't hate spiders but I too don't want to share my shower. I do that enough on the weekends during faire season. I hope that it is out of your house or atleast doing its job and killing the other bugs out of your way.
Mairearanturas on September 14th, 2005 08:32 pm (UTC)
Since spiders are good luck -- just think that you're in for a HUGE FRELLING run of good luck. And then secretly hope that the kitties got to it -- maybe the killer instinct has awoken and they will be ridding your home of all unwanted creatures!
Cookglances_benign on September 15th, 2005 08:13 am (UTC)
Well, if that's the case I've had far more good luck than I can handle.

I think I know the type of spider you've encountered, and (not to freak you out) they're all over my place over here.

Just tonight, I got home from work at about one in the morning. Park the car, walk toward the porch, cat crawls out from under it to say hello (I think she's what you call a tortoise-shell, been meaning to look that up), pick her up, step onto the single step and halt. In the porch-light there's a single spider-web running straight up and down, so close to my nose I can almost feel my eyes crossing to look at it.

I step back and take a look around. I've never come across a spiderweb running the full vertical length of my porch before. Yet here are its beginnings, a strand going up to the corner over there, another one going from the little railing to meet the one up there at the top. "Huh," I said when I spotted the spider, who was sitting up above me, all bunched up and not moving. Ugly brown thing, about the size of a nickle when it's all scrunched up like that, bigger than a quarter when it's spread out on its web.

I've killed about five of them this week. And now this one's stringing a web to encompass all of the front door. Delightful. Webs like that are things you come across in Dracula movies. I can't imagine what I'd have come home to if I pulled in at 2:30.

It just kinda stayed there until I squished it with a stick. They aren't any more attractive when they're dead. But they are quick when they're alive, and not doing that thing where they just kinda... don't move and stare at you. So creepy. But they die just fine.

They aren't poisonous (so far as I know, from the descriptions I've been digging for online).

I don't suppose there are any of you frelling weirdo spider-enthusiasts in the house? Help!

*joy!* I just got to type "frelling!" I miss that show.

Oh... yeah, we haven't been introduced. I'm Michael, friend of Katie's. I posted a comment in your LJ once before, but deleted it after I discovered I spelled "monkey" wrong, because that was embarrassing. Which does not explain why I bring it up now...