Kel (ladyjoust) wrote,

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The (absurd) Quest for Perfection/Unexpected Treasure

This is a problem I have had to deal with from the time I was a child: No matter what I attempt, I want to be accomplished at it immediately. I've learned, in some wise, to accept this shortcoming, and to try to meet my own absurd expectations reasonably. Very often, I can arbitrate the argument between heart- "Must do this NOW! Perfectly, no less!"- and head "But acquiring any skill takes time, and even innate talents must be honed." While I could list numerous instances in which my demand for instant-prefection has sabotaged creative endeavours, the one instance that plagues me is...

Tonight I had my second rehearsal for my Living Chess Game fight. My opponent (who also happens to be the choreographer) and I are using case (double) rapiers. There are some very, very wonky moves. They will, when rehearsed adequately, look really flashy and dangerous and cool. There's a specific pattern toward the end that is going to really fly... IF I ever get it. IF. After tonight, I'm convinced I never, but never!, will. OK, OK.. I will get it (from sheer stubborness if not skill). But... I didn't have it tonight, and I got so frustrated with myself. It should have helped that the choreographer told me that this was difficult choreography. Very, very difficult. Did this matter to my strange little mind? It did not. All I could compute was that I was NOT performing the moves perfectly. Therefore, I sucked. Goddess bless D for taking the time to tell me that this is not easy stuff, for helping me to feel that I am not a sod-all fighter.

*sigh* Just kick me. Kick me now. Hard.

On the plus side, I did find some interesting character choices for Marian in Improv Workshop the other night. It was decided (by dictatorship rather than committee) that this year's scenario would take place exactly a year after that of last year... ie, Robin Hood and Maid Marian have been married, the old Sheriff is dead, Oso's wound has healed and is naught but a tiny scar... anyway, playing Marian as married rather than being in the throes of new/refound passion w/RH was making me cranky. Then I hooked into something that made it fun. Made it positive. Made it playable... the starry-eyed newlywed. Sure, the new Sheriff is hitting on her. What does Marian care? Robin *sigh!*, her husband *giggle!* That and Binky, the jousthorse (that's just for Pratchett fans)... and Mari trying to re-learn outlawness (she keeps paying for everything she steals: "That's not thievery, Marian. That's shopping.")

... and that's all I've got. Suggestions welcome!
Tags: nyrf, rehearsal, stage combat
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